


Happy Birthday Harley

by EndoratheWitch



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Harley Quinn (Comics), Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom
Genre: AU, Birthday Sex, F/M, Healthy Relationships, Oral Sex, Smut, escape from Arkham, mad love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-14
Packaged: 2018-06-02 04:51:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6551797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joker brings Harley a birthday present.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Birthday Harley

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be the first of a series of shorts I'm planning with The Joker and Harley Quinn, but I thought it would be great if they had a healthy relationship though still nut-bag criminals. Also I will be writing under my headcanon that Joker suffered a loss when he was a child, exactly like Bruce Wayne. But where Bruce Wayne became Batman, the Joker went another direction. That is why they hate each other so much, they each represent the way the other could have gone. Also, my headcanon, The Joker isn't specifically out to murder,but some mayhem, chaos, and a thief...yes...but if people accidentally die...or don't understand his jokes, that is not really his problem.

Harley slipping into her hide-out exhausted, but very happy. The heist had been a blasted success! She was wearing most of what she had stolen. Several diamond necklaces, an assortment of rings with a variety of jewels in them, and she even had a few very expensive bracelets on. She had admired herself in a store mirror before blowing a hole in the wall. Granted the jewelry really didn't go well with her black and red outfit but no matter. 

Batman had been nowhere in sight. Lucky her! 

As she stepped in to her hide-out though, she stopped short. The place was littered with flowers! 

Harley looked around cautiously and then murmured. “Mr. J? Puddin'?” 

That was when the Joker jumped out wearing only a pair of boxer shorts in red,white and green vertical strips, an oversized necktie of bright yellow with red and green polka-dots and nothing else. 

“Surprise!! Hahaha!!” He laughed, grinning that grin she loved so much. 

“Puddin!!!!” Harley threw herself into his arms. He hugged her tightly, swinging her around the room once before setting her back on her feet. “I thought you were still in Arkham?” 

Joker grinned brightly. “Well, I had to come for your birthday didn't I?” 

Harley squealed happily, snuggling up against him. Joker's smile softened a little as he held her tightly. 

“So are you my present?” Harley asked with a mischievous grin looking up into his dark eyes. 

“Well, I'm glad I didn't go for jewelry.” Joker lifted up one of the many necklaces she had on with a smirk. “But no, my dear, I have brought you another gift besides me!” 

Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, Joker led her into the bedroom where she saw a stuffed bunny dressed as a clown. It wasn't any stuffed rabbit; it completely filled one section of the room and held the most beautiful mallet Harley had ever seen painted in red, black and blue with little clown skulls clearly lovingly hand painted on its surface. 

Harley squealed and Joker just barely kept his feet under him as she ploughed into him. “Sugar, it's perfect!” 

They both laughed. Harley kissed him, her arms tight around his neck, her legs having come up to wrap around his waist. Joker laughed cradling her rear walking her over the to bed. “I brought you some chocolates too, my pumpkin.” 

He dropped her onto the bed and then like magic produced a box of expensive chocolates, the box itself only had a little singe on the corners and only a couple of drops of blood marred the gold colored box. “Oh, Puddin!!” She put her hands out, but Joker held the box out of her reach. “You want your chocolate my devious little vixen, then you need to be undressed.” 

Harley giggled with a fake pout on her lips. She rose to her knees and slowly took off the jewels. Joker watched her with a smirk enjoying the show. They had not been together in weeks, and though he would never say it out loud, he had missed his little pumpkin wompkin. Giving him a coy look, Harley yanked off her top, her breasts bouncing just slightly with the quick movement. Her blue and pink pigtails bounced when she started to unbutton her shorts, slowly tugging the zipper down. Joker swallowed with appreciation, watching his lover strip. She is one hot little number, he thought with a crooked grin. And she was all his! He was one lucky clown. 

She stood up on the bed to wiggle out of her shorts exposing pale, silky skin. Joker very much appreciated the way her perky breasts bounced, the flair of her hips wearing a tiny pair of red panties that settled snugly against her hips. His girl was beautiful. Joker smiled slowly, with just a hint of sinister glee letting his gaze flow over her. Oh yes, she was a prize. He loved her too, not just because of how sexy she was, but she was a brilliant criminal, just like him. What wasn't there to love in that? And she appreciated a really good joke too. 

She was mostly naked, only wearing those adorable red panties. Joker crawled onto the bed using his knees. With a shove, he pushed her onto her back before straddling her hips. 

Harley giggled, dropping her arms over her head gazing up at him with admiration. Her tongue came out to caress her lips, her eyes heavy with lust. 

Joker opened the box before pulling out a piece of expensive chocolate and leaning down to rub it over her lips. Harley grinned, her tongue caressing the chocolate while the Joker watched with a quirked eyebrow. 

“So tell me, Pumpkin, what else does my bad girl want for her birthday?” Joker pushed the chocolate between her lips with a wide grin watching her chew for a moment. 

She giggled softly. “Having you here is the best birthday present, sugar bear.” 

“Good answer, my cuddly villainess.” The green haired clown prince took a piece of chocolate sliding it down between her breasts, her warm skin causing the chocolate to melt just slightly leaving a sweet trail along her skin. He took the melting piece of chocolate circling each of her hard nipples causing her to mewl with pleasure. 

”My turn!!” Joker tossed the box aside and started to laugh. He leaned down, using the tip of his tongue to clean the chocolate from her nipples. Harley moaned, arching her back. With a chuckle, Joker started to lick the chocolate between her breasts and down along her stomach as he decided to use his teeth to start biting his way to her panties. 

She squealed. “That tickles.” 

Joker chuckled, his teeth grabbed the edge of her red panties. He pulled, tugging at the cloth pushing himself backwards as he did so taking her panties with him. She lifted her hips with a squealing laugh when they tore. He ripped them when he sat up, wagging his eyebrows at her, her panties hanging from his teeth. 

He spat them to the side, the slow wicked smile forming on his face which made Harley shiver with anticipation. Standing up on the bed, making the whole thing wiggle and bounce, he pushed his boxers down to his knees. 

Harley squealed happily. He was long, hard and hers! She started to reach for him wanting to wrap her mouth around him, but Joker smacked her reaching hands lightly. “Not yet! It's your birthday, my little bird.” 

Harley gave him her best pouty face. “Ah, Puddin!! You know I love...” But before she could finish her sentence Joker was between her legs, his long tongue moving between her folds, finding just the right spot to lick and twirl his clever, wicked tongue. Harley nearly buckled. She pushed up onto her elbows looking down at him. His eyes shot up catching hers, then he made a show to very slowly run his tongue over her clitoris, grinning the whole time. Harley squealed and came right then. He grinned even wider, tasting deeply from her. Harley's hips came up off the bed and Joker wrapped his arms around her thighs, yanking her closer working to draw out her climax a little longer. She dropped back down, but reached out to pull on his green hair, yanking hard when he made her come again right on the heels of her first climax. 

He slowly let her come down before he crawled his way up to her mouth. His broad grin was contagious. Harley giggled, grabbing his pale face in her hands and kissing him deeply tasting herself on his tongue. 

He growled passionately as they kissed and she could feel the heat of his erection against her, rubbing against her. “Tell me you want me, Pumpkin.” Joker nibbled on her chin. 

“Oh yes, Mr. J!! I want you so badly,” Harley groaned. 

He rose up onto his arms, his dark green hair a mess from her fingers and his eyes twinkled with merriment. “Tell me again, Pumpkin.” He bit her lip, pulling out her bottom lip slowly then letting her lip go. She groaned. “I want you! I want you!!” 

“Hmmm...good...” He rolled her onto her side, lifting her leg. He took his erection, rubbing it against her opening, covering the head with her fluids. Harley groaned sucking on her bottom lip, whining a bit. “Mr. J!!!” 

He chuckled, then with a hard thrust he buried himself deeply into her. Her body arched with a cry of pleasure. “Oh, YES!” 

Joker hissed when he felt her body surround his shaft, warm, tight and wet. He wrapped his left arm around her leg holding the limb angled against his body, flipping the tie over his shoulder. His long fingers dug into her hip. He started to thrust, slow on purpose making his little Harlequin moan and writhe, wanting him to move harder, faster. She dug her fingers into the sheets, her back arched to thrust her hips closer to him. Squeezing her leg that was across his torso, Joker groaned loudly, surrendering to the feel of her. 

“Grrr...damn, Harley!” Joker hissed trying to stay in control.

“Oh Mr. J!!! Joker yes!!” He looked down at her, watching when she came, her mouth open, her eyes half closed with the intensity of her pleasure. He grinned a wickedly happy smile, gazing at her. She felt so good, coming for him, the flood of liquid over his erection was too much. He let go with a snarling hiss of pleasure, releasing, thrusting deeply and smoothly into and almost out of her. 

He dropped her leg, resting his hands on her hip and thigh, struggling for a moment to catch his breath. Harley rolled partway over so she could look up into his devilishly handsome face. He grabbed her leg, and staying inside her, helped her onto her back and then dropped down on his forearms. He grinned, his nose close to hers. “Happy Birthday, Pumpkin.” 

Harley squealed and squirmed under him which made his eyes roll because he felt so good with her. “Best birthday ever!!!” Yanking him down, Harley covered his face in kisses making him chuckle when they both heard sirens. 

“Damn it.” Joker got up with a deep groan, not wanting to separate from his lady love. He walked naked—except for his tie—to the window to pull the curtain back to look out. The police cars raced by, three of them, but they kept going. He smiled. Good. He had planned a distraction for Gotham's finest and Batman. Should keep them busy all night before they were alerted to his escape. 

He turned back around to see his naked, gorgeous girl lying on the bed. She gave him a come hither look and a cute little crook of her finger. “My birthday ain't over yet, lover boy. You are going to be worn out before you go back to Arkham.” 

Joker started to chuckle, then giggled, and then burst into a full body laugh as he leapt onto the bed and onto a squealing Harley.


End file.
